1 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,960 WOMAN CRIES OUT IN PAIN 2 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,965 UNDER HER BREATH: Ah agle mou, Spirithona. 3 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,925 - Oh, parcel. - Ah. 4 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:17,960 Riches from my tailor, Mr Jakeways. 5 00:00:21,960 --> 00:00:24,765 I saw Daphne with her baby, for the first time. 6 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:25,925 Oh, darling. 7 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:30,925 I want my own family. I'm 20, that's a good age to start. 8 00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,925 It isn't really. You can't even vote, 9 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:35,925 and you've got... well, how much money? 10 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:39,925 - In financial terms? - No, in bananas. 11 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,960 Well, as a man in my prime, I'm ready. 12 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,925 Bulls start at the age of one. 13 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,925 Well, you're not a bull, you help run a guesthouse. 14 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:48,925 And I need you here, while Larry's gone. 15 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,925 And Margo say she will leave soon. 16 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:53,925 What? Well, that's absurd. 17 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,925 That's like releasing a dotty kitten into the jungle. 18 00:00:57,960 --> 00:01:00,925 And that's why she wants to go, because you think she's a clot. 19 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:02,925 I don't think she's a clot! 20 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:07,925 She's just not ready for the real world of normal human interaction. 21 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:09,960 Oh! Ah! 22 00:01:11,960 --> 00:01:14,925 - Lugaretzia, please, go home. - I go home. 23 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:18,960 Go home and rest your bad back or your bottom or whatever it is. 24 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:24,925 - What do you think? - Does Mr Toad know you have his clothes? 25 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:28,765 Louisa, I love your cruelty. 26 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,925 Well, that's good, there's plenty more where that came from. 27 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,925 CAR APPROACHES 28 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,960 - CAR HORN - Oh. 29 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,125 - Martin crapped on me. - Oh. - My fault. 30 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:40,960 PIG SQUEALS 31 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,960 You must be Mrs Durrells. 32 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:55,925 - You come highly recommended. - Ah, well, how nice. 33 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:58,925 - Durrell, in fact. - Do you have a room for me? 34 00:01:58,960 --> 00:02:01,960 I do. The penthouse on the top floor. 35 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,925 What is this, a ruddy zoo? 36 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,925 Yes, I suppose it is. 37 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:12,000 Don't get romantic with him. He's not your type. 38 00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,925 The Colonel loves guns, so you two will get on well, Leslie. 39 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,160 In fact, I've moved on from shooting. 40 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:12,925 Although that is quite something. 41 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,640 Margo's gone. Sorry about the poo. 42 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,925 'Dear Mother, I know you'd try to make me stay, 43 00:03:23,960 --> 00:03:25,925 'so I've been smuggling out my possessions. 44 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:28,925 'I'll be at a secret location in Corfu. 45 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:30,925 'I'll be in touch when settled.' 46 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,960 - Where's Margo gone? - She won't say. 47 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,925 Well, this is terrible. We must search the island. 48 00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,925 No! We all run off when we're nippers. 49 00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:42,925 - How old is she? - 18. 50 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:45,925 - Well, it's time she left then. - Yes, it'll be all right. 51 00:03:45,960 --> 00:03:48,445 - Do her good. - Your job's done. 52 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:53,765 What do all you men know? I'm... sad as a mother, 53 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,000 as a woman, frankly, I'm feeling outnumbered. 54 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,605 Then I went over the top in Wipers... 55 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:07,925 - and... - LAUGHS 56 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:10,160 - ..copped a Blighty. - What? 57 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,925 He fought at Ypres and was invalided home. 58 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:16,925 Still got a crotch full of shrapnel. 59 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,925 I can't have magnets in the house. 60 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,925 Louisa doesn't want to hear the word "crotch". 61 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,925 No, it's fine, I am familiar with the concept. 62 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,925 Well, don't let me harp on about the war. 63 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:28,925 Or should I? 64 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:29,925 No. 65 00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:32,925 The time I got a bayonet up my jacksie in the Bosphorus, anyone? 66 00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:36,925 - I thought you liked war. - Nobody sane likes war. 67 00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,605 I believe in protecting one's loved ones, 68 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:41,925 if one's lucky enough to have any. 69 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,925 Well, the Hun are up to their old tricks. 70 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,925 Clearly, I didn't kill enough last time. 71 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,605 Austria's gone, who's next? 72 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:51,925 I've decided there won't be a new war. 73 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,925 Good girl. 74 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,925 Little bit over familiar. 75 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:57,925 I've been here for months, I've earned it. 76 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:00,925 We have a super rapport. 77 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,125 Anyway, I've recently left the army 78 00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:07,925 and I'd rather like to try my hand at hunting. 79 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:10,925 - Oh no, don't do that. - Why not? 80 00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,925 Only an idiot would kill an animal for fun. 81 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,925 And I'm sure you're not an idiot. 82 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,960 Gerry, don't be rude to our paying guests. 83 00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:27,160 Your family, is it me, or is it slightly falling apart? 84 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,605 I love it here, Theo, thanks for letting me stay. 85 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,960 No, it's good for me. 86 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,925 I'm a creature of routine, which is terrible. 87 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,285 Me and my perfectly symmetrical room. 88 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:57,925 Break it up! 89 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:00,925 But let me tell your mother you're here. 90 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,925 - She's anxious. - No, don't you dare. 91 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:07,125 Oh, I bought these yesterday in the market. 92 00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,925 They'll help me inspire my new beauty business. 93 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,960 Let's take this old codger down. 94 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:17,640 Isn't it gorgeous? 95 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:21,125 You don't mind, do you? 96 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,960 Thanks, Theo. 97 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:39,960 FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING 98 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:45,925 I hear you're a gun wallah. Let's go hunting. 99 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,765 No, I've left that behind me. 100 00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:49,925 I want a solid career so I can have a family and... 101 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:51,925 I'll pay you handsomely. 102 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,965 Now, what's the big game on Corfu? 103 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,925 Well, the biggest prize is wild boar, but they're hard to find. 104 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,925 Good! You sort that out then. 105 00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:03,960 And I'll have my money back if it's a washout. 106 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:17,925 KNOCK 107 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,480 - Yeah. - DOOR OPENS 108 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:22,925 Evening. 109 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,925 Did you know that insects don't have circulatory blood systems? 110 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,445 Right. 111 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,445 Their organs bathe in chambers of blood, 112 00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,925 it's usually green or yellow. 113 00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:35,960 I... need to confide in someone. 114 00:07:37,960 --> 00:07:39,960 - Leslie's downstairs. - No, he'd be useless. 115 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,960 - The Colonel's... - I'd rather die. 116 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,925 - Mother's somewhere. - It's her I want to talk about. 117 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,925 Because I'm... finding, 118 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,960 to my surprise, that I... 119 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:55,960 ..well... 120 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:57,960 I love her. 121 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,965 - I love her, too. - Not the way I love her. 122 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,960 Like a burning... 123 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,960 ..house. 124 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:12,925 When locusts fail to find a mate 125 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,925 they travel, often for thousands of miles... 126 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,925 Can we, for once, not relate everything to creepy crawlies? 127 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,960 Based on your knowledge of your mum... 128 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,960 ..d'you have any hints or tips re unlocking her heart? 129 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:34,960 - You haven't a hope in hell. Sorry. - Well... 130 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,960 There's a challenge. 131 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:45,925 'Dear Ma and the sibling horde, 132 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,925 'I'm perched up here in the North 133 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,445 'which cascades serenity 134 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,925 'when I'm not hammering sentences into being.' 135 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,960 Oh, Larry. Please relax, it's me. 136 00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:00,925 - 'How are the kids?' - That's better. 137 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:03,925 'I miss them, and you, of course. 138 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,925 'My dancer girls have left to prance professionally in Athens, 139 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,960 'but I am writing like a hungry fish. Are you happy? 140 00:09:11,960 --> 00:09:15,925 'Knowing you, and I do, you will concede only, 141 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:19,800 '"Partly happy with risk of scattered doubts, heavy at times."' 142 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,925 Larry's letters make me sad too. 143 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:27,925 But that's because they're gibberish. 144 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:32,445 I miss him. And Margo, of course, as one misses a.... 145 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,605 ..dotty kitten who's run off into the jungle 146 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,960 - even though she's not ready for the real world or... - All right. 147 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:42,765 But over the years, I've grown used to confiding in Larry. 148 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:46,925 And Spiros, although he and I are rebuilding our friendship 149 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,960 - since, well, you know... - Yes. 150 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:55,925 Well, I'm mature, and financially secure 151 00:09:55,960 --> 00:09:57,925 now I'm running the Colonel's hunts. 152 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,925 You don't need Larry or Spiros. 153 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,605 I'm your confidant now. Guiding your every move. 154 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,960 Your worries are at an end. 155 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:19,960 Sorry. 156 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:41,925 - Spiros, have you seen Margo anywhere? - No. 157 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,960 You worry too much. You should stop that. 158 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:47,925 Spiros, things don't seem to be getting back 159 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,925 - to how they were between us. - No, you're tense. 160 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,925 Well, yes, I am, because I, I... 161 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:58,925 You are alone in the house with lots of men. It's not healthy. 162 00:10:58,960 --> 00:11:01,925 I will have as many men in the house as I need to pay the bills. 163 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:05,925 Lying around in hammocks in their underwear if they wish. 164 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:09,925 I'm just saying, make it clear you're not interested in them. 165 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:12,960 I'm not interested in them! 166 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,605 Drop in any time and see for yourself. 167 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:19,800 I may do that. 168 00:11:31,480 --> 00:11:35,765 My husband is away a lot, and not reliable, 169 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:37,960 but we are trying to make a good marriage. 170 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,960 I'm going to love having a baby. 171 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:45,320 - Do you have a girlfriend? - No, I'm waiting for you. 172 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,925 That's not fair. For you or anyone. 173 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,960 Maybe, who knows. 174 00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:55,960 She likes you. 175 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,925 But you can leave her and go home and sleep. 176 00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,925 I'll babysit if you want a rest. 177 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:05,925 You would? My father says men do not look after babies. 178 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,925 Well, I'm the new kind of man. Who's sensitive to women, 179 00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:10,925 whilst remaining manly in the extreme. 180 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,925 Leslie Durrell. 181 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,925 - Oh, Mr Likourgos. - What are you doing these days? 182 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,925 I have an exciting new venture, organising hunting trips. 183 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:20,925 Where is the best place to hunt wild boar? 184 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:24,925 The woods at Evropouli. I own the hunting licence. 185 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:28,925 - You can shoot wild boar there. - Oh, thank you. 186 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:29,960 For you, not expensive. 187 00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,480 Fine. How much? 188 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:53,925 - Might I... - SCREAMS 189 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,605 Apologies. 190 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:57,960 Erm... Might I help? 191 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:01,960 Yes, you can wash up. 192 00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:06,960 - There you are. - Oh! 193 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:10,925 My tailor, Mr Jakeways, would faint 194 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,960 if he saw me mixing textures like this. 195 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,925 I've never actually done this before. 196 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:19,925 Oh, it's great fun. 197 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:21,925 If you're very good, you can build a new lavatory pit. 198 00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,960 Ha-ha. 199 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:27,960 Are you all right? 200 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:36,285 Do you think my family is falling apart, as the Colonel said? 201 00:13:36,320 --> 00:13:41,125 No! I mean I know... one's left and one's missing 202 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,925 and the other two hate each other, but, er... 203 00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:46,960 So, Louisa... 204 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,925 - Mm. - What are your... 205 00:13:50,960 --> 00:13:52,960 Oh, look, I've made it clean. 206 00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,925 - What are your favourite things? - Why do you ask? 207 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,960 No reason. Come on! 208 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:08,000 Erm... Dancing. 209 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:13,285 Er, bridge, seafood... ooh! 210 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,925 Dandie Dinmont dogs, 211 00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,925 - my children being happy... - That's enough. 212 00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,960 Shh. 213 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,960 My copepods! 214 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:45,965 Honestly, Theo, why are people so selfish and insensitive? 215 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,925 It's not deliberate. We are just different. 216 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,925 - You don't know what I'm talking about. - Oh, I see. 217 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:54,960 Our new guest, Colonel Ribbidane, has... 218 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,160 - Have you got guests? - No, no. 219 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,925 So this preposterous Colonel arrives with his war chest, 220 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:06,605 and he and Leslie are planning to slaughter wild boar. 221 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,605 Well, tell Leslie how strongly you feel. 222 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,925 He's so much more thoughtful these days. 223 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:14,925 What's this? 224 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:19,960 I'm.... experimenting with more colour in my wardrobe. 225 00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:23,960 You've got a woman, haven't you? 226 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,925 Yes, I have. But don't tell anyone. 227 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:32,480 Honestly, Theo, it's about time, we were all wondering. 228 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,925 Who is it? Is she young? 229 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,960 Is she a scientist, but a sexy one? 230 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,960 It's Margo. 231 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,925 Yes, it's Margo. She's only staying here. 232 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:55,965 - Well, I know that. - But don't tell your mother. 233 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,960 Margo is desperate to discover more about herself. 234 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,960 I miss her, but she's not easy to live with, is she? 235 00:16:17,320 --> 00:16:20,125 Colonel, I've secured the perfect private woodland 236 00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:22,960 - for hunting wild boar. - Good man. 237 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:25,960 Sit. 238 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:33,640 Now, when I'm shooting with a man I like to know what makes him tick. 239 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:36,125 Answer? 240 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,285 Well, I, er, like to think I'm a decent sort. 241 00:16:39,320 --> 00:16:42,925 I hold this place together... with my mother. 242 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:47,925 What's this I hear about you pining for some girl and a baby? 243 00:16:47,960 --> 00:16:49,925 - Well, yes... - I've nothing against the dainty sex. 244 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:51,925 I've been married at least once and they did their best, 245 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:55,925 but if we're going hunting together, let's keep it... 246 00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,925 red blooded. 247 00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:01,960 Don't worry, when the time comes, I'll be cocked and ready to go. 248 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,960 A word, please. 249 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:07,960 Excuse me. 250 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:15,925 - Please don't go hunting. - Oh, don't be so sentimental. 251 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,925 Compared to how animals kill each other, shooting them is humane. 252 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:22,925 Cornering animals and executing them is not humane. 253 00:17:22,960 --> 00:17:24,800 It's a wood, there are no corners. 254 00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,320 Gerry, this is work. The Colonel's paying me. 255 00:17:30,960 --> 00:17:31,925 All right, I'll save up 256 00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:33,925 and I'll match what he's paying you. How much is it? 257 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:36,960 £25. For one week. 258 00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:45,765 I'm going to put a wave in your hair like Jean Harlow. 259 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:46,925 Why? 260 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,765 We owe it to the world to be as beautiful as possible. 261 00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:51,925 In case you're worried I'm just a silly girl, 262 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:53,925 I worked at Theo's x-ray unit for two years. 263 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:56,445 So I know what I'm doing. 264 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,960 The curling tongs need to be nice and warm to put a wave in your hair. 265 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,320 DOOR OPENS 266 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,640 Sorry I'm late. 267 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:13,925 Mr Stephanides is my salon assistant for the day. 268 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,925 One can't have enough strings to one's bow, can one? 269 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,925 WHISPERING 270 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:21,925 Is there a difficulty? 271 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:23,925 We were wondering whether your hair is so lovely 272 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:25,960 we should leave it as it is. 273 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:35,960 Oh! 274 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,285 Or treat this visit as an initial consultation 275 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:44,960 - and do some research and reconvene. - What a good idea. 276 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,925 Herete, Galini. 277 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:52,960 - Gerry, pos eisai? - Kala, efharisto. 278 00:18:55,960 --> 00:18:57,925 - Something bad is happening. - Really? 279 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,925 And there comes a time when we need to stand up for what we believe in. 280 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:01,925 Yes. 281 00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:03,925 What do we believe in? 282 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,925 There's a mad Colonel staying with us 283 00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,925 and he's paying Leslie to take him to kill wild boar. 284 00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:10,445 - That's terrible. - Exactly. 285 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,925 - So we're going to stop them. - Good. 286 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,925 Well, I am. 287 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:16,925 You probably better stay back and watch me take the bullet. 288 00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,960 No, we die together. 289 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,925 Leslie! 290 00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:33,925 Household items and provisions for your hunting expedition. 291 00:19:33,960 --> 00:19:35,925 Ah, thank you, Spiros. 292 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,925 I hear you plan to hunt in the woods with Mr Likourgos. 293 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:40,925 Yes, it's good for wild boar. 294 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,925 - Well, in fact, it isn't. - What? 295 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,925 Mr Likourgos is pulling a fast one. 296 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,925 - Where does that saying come from? - Er, I don't know. 297 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:50,925 What do you mean? 298 00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:53,925 There are no wild boars in that forest... 299 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,285 or anywhere for miles. And he doesn't own the licence, 300 00:19:57,320 --> 00:19:59,960 - it's common land. - Argh! 301 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,960 - Mrs Durrells. - Mr Hakiaopulos. 302 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,285 Keen to check I'm not flirting with all my menfolk? 303 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,445 Of course not. 304 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:21,925 I saw your Basil in town, buying a big gift, probably for you. 305 00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:23,925 Knowing Basil, it'll be for him. 306 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,925 - Anyone seen my swimming hat? - You need a hat to swim? 307 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:29,320 Oh! You're looking good enough to scoff. 308 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,285 He's never said anything like that before. 309 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:33,960 Uh-huh. 310 00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,925 I loved our chat yesterday. 311 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:40,960 Thank you for opening up to me so deliciously. 312 00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:48,160 Now you see why I wonder? Have they tried to seduce you? 313 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:51,925 No. And that's not fair, 314 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,925 Spiros, after all we've been through. 315 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:55,925 And it's me who should be jealous. 316 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:57,960 You're the one with a full bed to go home to. 317 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:19,960 What's wrong? 318 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,605 - Nothing. - Don't "nothing" me. 319 00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:24,925 You confide in me, remember? 320 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,960 I'm the new Larry, but less pretentious. Come on. 321 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:35,960 Spiros is jealous and what's the point as we can't be together? 322 00:21:37,960 --> 00:21:40,925 Well, that's why he's jealous. 323 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,925 Well, in my experience, throwing oneself into hard, vigorous work 324 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,925 - can help conquer heartache. - What do you think I've been doing? 325 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,925 I have the hands of an ancient farmer. 326 00:21:49,960 --> 00:21:51,925 Good, you've taken that advice. 327 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:55,605 Now, what about winning Spiros over, hm? 328 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,925 Spiros is a faithful husband, 329 00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:59,960 as is right and proper. 330 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,800 And rare and regrettable. 331 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,960 Would his wife perhaps step aside if you were to make a good enough case? 332 00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,960 No, Leslie. 333 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,925 No to that, fair enough. 334 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,925 Well, if all three of you are unhappy 335 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,960 - why not agree on some compromise? - And how would that work? 336 00:22:21,960 --> 00:22:22,960 Hm... 337 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,925 I'm glad you value compromise. 338 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:29,925 Please call off the hunt tomorrow, for Gerry's sake... 339 00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,925 No! I'm going to bloody do this 340 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,960 and it's going to be a success. 341 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:52,925 So I said to my mother, 342 00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:55,925 "you've never really taken me seriously, have you?" 343 00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:57,925 That is hard for a mother to hear. 344 00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:01,925 In fact, I've always enjoyed not being taken seriously, 345 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,960 but as you get older, it becomes a bit unseemly. 346 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:07,960 Now don't shout at me. 347 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:21,925 I look nice. 348 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:24,605 You do. 349 00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:27,925 - So how long will this last? - The wave? 350 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,765 Not long. But next time I can put in a permanent one. 351 00:23:31,800 --> 00:23:35,925 - How do you do that? - Chemicals and a lot of bravery. 352 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:37,960 If I get it wrong, all your hair falls out. 353 00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:40,960 I trust you. 354 00:23:58,480 --> 00:23:59,960 Come here. 355 00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,925 - Sit! Sit! - PIG SQUEALS 356 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,960 Argh! Martin, come here. 357 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:11,960 Come on, you'll look good in this. 358 00:24:13,160 --> 00:24:15,000 Here! 359 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:21,960 PIG SQUEALS 360 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,960 Oh, for God's sake. 361 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:52,925 - Ah, morning, can I have a word? - Just off to see Galini. - Stop! 362 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,925 Two things. 363 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:59,125 If you try to interfere in the shooting, you may die, 364 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:01,925 which would, on balance, be a waste. 365 00:25:01,960 --> 00:25:02,965 And? 366 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,925 Do people know where Margo is and they're not telling me 367 00:25:05,960 --> 00:25:07,320 out of some urge to protect her? 368 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:10,925 Well, I've protected her all her life 369 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:12,925 - and I am the best at it. - Yes, you are. 370 00:25:12,960 --> 00:25:14,925 FOOTSTEPS 371 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:16,965 - Thank you. - Where are you off to? 372 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:19,605 Hunting. 373 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:20,965 Oh. 374 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:24,160 - Are you in a pickle of some sort? - Do you really want to know? 375 00:25:26,960 --> 00:25:28,925 No, no. 376 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,925 So, we're after wild boar. 377 00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:35,925 I'm new to the hunting game, unless you count Germans. 378 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,960 - Let's not. - And Turks. 379 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,765 I'll get on then. 380 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,800 Solid plan! Solid plan! 381 00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,925 - Hello, Leslie. - Daphne. And Katina, how nice. 382 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,925 - I have a favour to ask. - Yeah, before you do... 383 00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,925 Your father's cheated me. 384 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:02,925 I paid him to let us hunt wild boar 385 00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:04,925 and it seems there aren't any and I didn't need to. 386 00:26:04,960 --> 00:26:08,925 - Otherwise, brilliant. - I'm so sorry, I didn't know. 387 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:11,925 - You said you may be able to babysit. - I'd love to. 388 00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:14,925 - Thank you, I have so many things to do. - Woah, woah, now? 389 00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:16,925 I'm about to leave on a wild boar hunt. 390 00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:19,285 - But you said there are no wild boar there. - Shh! 391 00:26:19,320 --> 00:26:20,925 I have a plan to get round that, 392 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,960 by creating the illusion of a wild boar, see? 393 00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:24,925 Perhaps nobody is honest. 394 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,925 Look, I'll help any other time, but this hunt is so important to me. 395 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:29,925 Larry's left so I'm the man of the house now 396 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,960 and for the first time I can, erm, really, erm... 397 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,925 All right, my mother can look after you until I get back. 398 00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:38,925 Can't she, eh? 399 00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:40,605 - Everything you need is in there. - OK. 400 00:26:40,640 --> 00:26:42,925 - I will come back tomorrow. - Tomorrow? 401 00:26:42,960 --> 00:26:46,640 Please. I need a break or I go mad. 402 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:49,960 BABY CRIES 403 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:04,960 Oh, hello. 404 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:12,765 - Theo, I'm sorry... - No, no, no, I am. 405 00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:15,285 But the truth is, I'm so used to living on my own. 406 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:17,925 Oh, no, you've hated having me here. 407 00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:20,445 No, you're a delight, you're my friend. 408 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,960 But for me, a disorderly house creates a disorderly mind. 409 00:27:24,960 --> 00:27:27,960 But I'm fine now the furniture is symmetrical. 410 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:39,445 I know now what I need to do. 411 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:41,925 Please, tell your mother where you are. 412 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,925 Not yet. 413 00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:45,960 I'm getting a taste for independence. 414 00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,925 You'd have been proud of me, I waved Mrs Mavrokondas's hair 415 00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,800 - without killing her. - I am proud of you. 416 00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,960 Basil, I need your help with my hunting expedition. 417 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,445 Oh, I knew there was something - you mustn't go hunting, 418 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,960 - your mother asked me to stop it. - Tough, we're going. But... 419 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:13,925 ..would you go ahead, hide in the foliage 420 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,925 and make a noise like a wild boar, please? 421 00:28:16,960 --> 00:28:18,965 I fear that could end in tears. 422 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,925 No, no, it won't. It'll be a laugh! 423 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,960 Day out in the woods, up a tree. 424 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:27,960 - Why do you need wild boar noises? - Shh! 425 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,925 Because there are no wild boars, it turns out, 426 00:28:32,960 --> 00:28:35,925 so the Colonel will demand his money back. 427 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:38,960 My sympathies. Still no. 428 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,925 If you help me, I'll show you how to impress Mother. 429 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,925 I've already taken steps to win her over. 430 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,960 Well, I can more or less guarantee success, because I'm her confidant. 431 00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:53,925 What noise do wild boar make? 432 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:56,925 If I remember correctly, it's something like... 433 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,960 - IMITATES WILD BOAR SQUEAL - But louder. 434 00:28:59,960 --> 00:29:02,285 IMITATES WILD BOAR SQUEAL 435 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:05,925 Wow, yeah. Oh, that's a nasty cough. 436 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:06,960 - It's a bit of a... a tickle. - Tickle. 437 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,925 Delivery for you. What are we waiting for? 438 00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:16,480 - I just need my mother to come home before we leave. - Why? 439 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,925 - Welcome home! - Thank you, no need to welcome me. 440 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:37,925 I, er, have something to say. 441 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,925 Over the months I've been here, you may have observed my journey 442 00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:44,925 from somewhat prissy guest to dogged admirer. 443 00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:47,925 You're going quite fast, can I just gently slow you down 444 00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,925 and ask you to shut your eyes. 445 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:53,125 Why? The last time I did that, Gerry put a lizard down my blouse. 446 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,605 Yes, I won't do that. 447 00:29:55,640 --> 00:29:59,640 Though it sounds like massive fun. Erm, ready then? 448 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:08,125 So, here... er, stop. 449 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:11,925 Keep them shut. As a symbol of our connection, 450 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:15,960 is this gift which I now give you. 451 00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:21,160 And, open. 452 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,925 Obviously, it lacks water, but I'll... 453 00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:39,960 divert a stream when I have a moment. 454 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:42,605 - Basil, why have you...? - Say nothing. 455 00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:44,960 Please excuse me, I'm needed in a wood. 456 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:48,000 Enjoy your gift. 457 00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,925 - Whose is that? - Daphne's. 458 00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:58,960 Oh, Leslie. 459 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,960 - Oh, a... a letter from Larry. - Oh, thank you, darling. 460 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:11,925 - Why has Basil bought us a bridge? - Yes, that did seem odd. 461 00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:13,925 'Dear Mother. 462 00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,925 'Enchante to hear that Margo's nesting with Theo. 463 00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:18,925 - 'Is that a secret?' - Hah! 464 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,925 Erm, can you babysit Daphne's baby while I'm hunting? 465 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:23,925 Oh, no, darling, I have to go back to town. 466 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,925 - Oh, well... - This is much better. 467 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:29,960 You stay here and be Daddy, as you said you wanted to. 468 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:36,960 What the hell am I going to do with you? 469 00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,925 - Lovely day for it. - I'm not talking to you! 470 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:44,960 Fine. 471 00:32:03,960 --> 00:32:05,925 You'd have been court-martialled for that in a war. 472 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,925 - Highly unprofessional. - I've said I'm sorry. 473 00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:10,765 RUSTLING NOISE 474 00:32:10,800 --> 00:32:11,925 GUNFIRE 475 00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:13,925 BABY SCREAMS AND CRIES 476 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,000 - Don't make me shoot the baby. - That's not funny. 477 00:32:19,960 --> 00:32:21,960 - Please shush. - CRYING CONTINUES 478 00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:24,960 - Shh. - Shh! 479 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,640 Let's just clog your ears up. 480 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:35,960 IMITATES WILD BOAR 481 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,925 Th... that's a wild boar. 482 00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:42,925 How exciting, I told you I'd find you some. 483 00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:43,925 Isn't it coming from up a tree? 484 00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:48,800 Hardly, they can't climb trees. You're thinking of a squirrel. 485 00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:50,960 GUNFIRE 486 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:54,925 This way. 487 00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:56,925 Are you sure about this? 488 00:32:56,960 --> 00:32:58,960 We could get shot and killed. 489 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:00,960 Are YOU sure about it? 490 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:10,960 KNOCK 491 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:18,925 Hello. How nice... 492 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,925 It's all right, Theo, I know. 493 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,925 I did try to persuade Margo to tell you. 494 00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:25,925 Well, you should have asked me, 495 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:28,960 I have a range of techniques for calling Margo to heel. 496 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:33,960 Oh... 497 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:41,925 I was forgetting what you looked like. 498 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:45,445 After a week? What kind of mother are you? 499 00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:47,640 I don't know. 500 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,960 BABY CRYING 501 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:54,960 Oh, God, this is horrible. 502 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,960 Let's hope this is the last of your stinking effluent. 503 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:16,800 IMITATES WILD BOAR 504 00:34:18,960 --> 00:34:20,960 BASIL IMITATING WILD BOAR 505 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,960 LOUD GONG AND TAMBOURINE 506 00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,925 - Shoo, scat. - Pavste! - REPEATED GONG 507 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:30,925 - Hunting is wrong! - Stop this cruelty! 508 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,925 Drop your guns and cuddle an animal today! 509 00:34:33,960 --> 00:34:35,960 GUNSHOT 510 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,125 How dare you! My mother loves that gong! 511 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:40,925 Well, you're wasting your bloody breath 512 00:34:40,960 --> 00:34:43,925 because there are no wild boar in these woods anyway! 513 00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:45,925 Probably because they've all been gunned down. 514 00:34:45,960 --> 00:34:47,925 They need protecting! 515 00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:51,960 In fact, there are wild boar here, because we heard the bastards. 516 00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,960 SHRIEKS 517 00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:17,925 I will see you... in court. 518 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,960 Look, I was just trying to give you good value for money! 519 00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:23,925 You think I'm a buffoon, do you? 520 00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:25,925 - You must be. - No. 521 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:27,925 Killing isn't a sport, it's a sickness! 522 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:29,960 Gerry! 523 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,925 - 'Fire!' - BATTLEFIELD SOUNDS 524 00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:45,960 'Fire your weapon! 525 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:53,000 'For God's sake, do something, man! Fire! 526 00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,925 'Colonel! Colonel! 527 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:00,160 'Colonel!' 528 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:09,960 You could have killed my brother! 529 00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:33,445 Margo, I love you and I miss you. 530 00:36:33,480 --> 00:36:36,925 And I need you at home, as a... as a daughter 531 00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:39,925 - and frankly as a woman. - You've got Lugaretzia. 532 00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,925 Oh, she's off with her bad back or her bottom 533 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:44,925 or whatever it is this time. 534 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:46,925 Have I been so terrible? 535 00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:51,925 No! But you're very... dominant. 536 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,925 No, I'm not! 537 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:54,925 You'd never come to me for advice, 538 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:57,925 because you only really listen to Larry. 539 00:36:57,960 --> 00:36:59,925 - You only miss me now I'm gone. - Oh, Margo. 540 00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:02,925 - Anyway, I've bothered Theo enough. - No, no, no, no. 541 00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:05,925 - So I'm moving out. - Oh, thank you, darling... 542 00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:09,925 - And I'm going to England. - No... Why? 543 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:11,925 I haven't been there for years. 544 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,285 I need to train properly in beauty, 545 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,925 I just need to do something brave. 546 00:37:16,960 --> 00:37:20,925 Well, you'll soon discover there's no place like home. 547 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,925 But where is home? I love Corfu, 548 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,125 but you turned us into nomads when you brought us here. 549 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:28,320 Home is... 550 00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:33,960 - ...where I am. - You see? That's you being dominant. 551 00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:39,480 - How long will you be gone? - I don't know. 552 00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:48,960 Theo, you can keep my lovely pictures. 553 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,925 I'm sorry it wasn't a huge success. If you want your money back... 554 00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:25,960 You stopped me committing murder. I'm hardly going to expect a refund. 555 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,925 I know what it's like, haunting flashbacks to the battlefield. 556 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,925 - They're hard to shake off. - Where did you serve? 557 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:35,960 Yeovil College for trainee solicitors. 558 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:38,925 Not all of the lads made it. 559 00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:41,925 Well, thank goodness you're all safe. 560 00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:44,925 - Galini and I stopped the slaughter. - LESLIE: No, you didn't. 561 00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,925 - He shot your gong. - It's still perfectly sound. 562 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,965 - Oh, really? Does THIS sound sound? - WARPED GONG SOUNDS 563 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,925 - You are so self-righteous. - Oh, am I? 564 00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,605 - And what does that make you? - Why don't you tell me? 565 00:38:55,640 --> 00:38:56,925 Shut up! 566 00:38:56,960 --> 00:39:01,925 Are you going to ask me how am? In this house of men? 567 00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:03,925 - As my family disintegrates? - What? 568 00:39:03,960 --> 00:39:05,960 - Who's disintegrating? - How are you? 569 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:13,285 KNOCK 570 00:39:13,320 --> 00:39:15,960 - Yes? - It's a man. 571 00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,960 - Would you prefer to rendezvous on the landing? - No. 572 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:23,960 Sorry to penetrate your bolt-hole. 573 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:30,445 I'm worried I wasn't very clear, when I gave you the bridge. 574 00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:32,925 Yes, what was that all about? 575 00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:36,125 I asked you what you liked 576 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,960 and you said "a bridge". 577 00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:45,765 No, I said I like, "er, bridge". 578 00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,960 The card game. My husband and I used to play. 579 00:39:50,960 --> 00:39:52,960 Oh, bugger. 580 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:56,445 Do you like bridges? 581 00:39:56,480 --> 00:39:59,925 Well, I'm glad they exist, for crossing water. 582 00:39:59,960 --> 00:40:01,925 Anyway... 583 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:06,125 the bridge is merely a metaphor, in wood, 584 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:11,445 - of my love for you. - Oh. 585 00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:17,445 Your warmth and beauty illuminate every room you enter. 586 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,925 I came for a fortnight's holiday 587 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:25,925 and months later, I am still here, waiting and wanting. 588 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:30,320 So, how about it, you and me? 589 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:35,000 No, I have no romantic feelings for you. 590 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,000 We are related after all. 591 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,960 - It's very distant. - Not distant enough. 592 00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:48,960 - I don't think you should sit on my bed. - Right, sorry. 593 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,925 And of course, there is Spiros. 594 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:59,965 Why eat boiled beef when there's hot souvlaki on the menu? 595 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:01,925 He's not on the menu. 596 00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:05,445 Well, I'll leave tomorrow. 597 00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:08,925 No, look, Basil, stay. 598 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:12,925 Stop having English clothes sent over, 599 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:15,965 relax, find someone nice here. 600 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:17,960 Who isn't me. 601 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,640 CAR HORN 602 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,925 - Ladies. - Thanks, Spiros! 603 00:41:29,960 --> 00:41:32,960 - Pleasure. - You're a darling! - You're welcome. 604 00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:37,960 - Mrs D! - Swim with us! 605 00:41:40,960 --> 00:41:41,965 - SCREAM - Look at the sea! 606 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:43,960 Oh, it's so good to be back. 607 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,445 You want me to apologise for caring about you? 608 00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:54,925 This isn't caring. 609 00:41:54,960 --> 00:41:56,925 This is having your cake and eating it. 610 00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,925 - What does that mean? - It means, 611 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,125 you have a wife you want to keep 612 00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,960 and me here waiting for you, just in case. 613 00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,000 I'm sorry... 614 00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:10,480 That's not fair. 615 00:42:11,480 --> 00:42:14,960 But we've tried to be normal together and we just can't do it. 616 00:42:16,640 --> 00:42:17,960 I know. 617 00:42:19,960 --> 00:42:21,960 I'm sorry. 618 00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:52,925 Leslie's busy putting the baby down to sleep, 619 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:54,960 but I'm here if you want a deputy confidant. 620 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:57,960 Thank you. 621 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:02,960 LAUGHING AND SCREAMING 622 00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:06,960 They're swimming naked, aren't they? 623 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:10,925 Er, I think I will stay on. 624 00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,925 I'll just take the dancers their towels... 625 00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:16,925 They'll dry... in the sun. 626 00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:18,960 Go on, in you go. 627 00:43:21,960 --> 00:43:26,925 Oh, Lugaretzia, what an absolute pleasure to see you. 628 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:28,925 You also. 629 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:31,925 And how is your bad back or bottom or wherever it is? 630 00:43:31,960 --> 00:43:34,960 - Ah, less bad, thank you. - Good. 631 00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,925 - There are naked ladies in the sea! - I know. 632 00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,285 What can you do? 633 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:44,925 Yeah, we danced for our supper in Athens. 634 00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,605 And we're joining Larry up the coast. 635 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,925 He's promised to give us a huge welcome. 636 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:52,925 Oh, I bet he has. Well, tell him we'll visit soon. 637 00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:54,925 - DOOR OPENS - Theo told me you're missing 638 00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,925 - female company. - Aw! 639 00:43:56,960 --> 00:43:58,925 Thank you, Florence. 640 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,925 Yes, it's been like a working men's club here. 641 00:44:01,960 --> 00:44:03,925 Come in and spread a little daintiness. 642 00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:06,925 Oh, you seem to be doing all right. 643 00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,925 Still, we're here now. I bring wine 644 00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,925 and surgery gossip involving sexually transmitted diseases. 645 00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:13,960 - Oh! - THEY LAUGH 646 00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:19,925 I'll, er, I'll be making my farewells, Mrs Durrell. 647 00:44:19,960 --> 00:44:21,925 Oh, I'm sorry, Colonel. Why? 648 00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,925 Well, I feel I need a new challenge in my life, 649 00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:26,925 one that doesn't involve firearms. 650 00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:29,445 Well, you could stay and... 651 00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:31,960 go for walks or read books. 652 00:44:32,960 --> 00:44:35,605 Anyway, I'll leave my guns for Leslie. 653 00:44:35,640 --> 00:44:37,965 He's a fine lad, despite his baby fetish. 654 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,925 - Ah, here's Daphne. - Aw, hi! 655 00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:42,960 - COLONEL CLEARS HIS THROAT - Afti pali? 656 00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,965 So many women. Where's Margo? 657 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:49,925 Margo is going to try England. 658 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:52,925 Oh, good for her! 659 00:44:52,960 --> 00:44:55,640 Yes. Good for her. 660 00:45:05,960 --> 00:45:08,925 So is that you done for children? 661 00:45:08,960 --> 00:45:10,925 Ugh, yeah, they're a nightmare. 662 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:13,925 Listen, I know I haven't been a good confidant to you so far. 663 00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:15,925 Well, I'll need you later to shore me up. 664 00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:18,925 I can't see Spiros any more and Margo's going away. 665 00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:20,605 No, I won't make sense later, 666 00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:23,960 I'm off to get slaughtered with Basil and the Colonel. Bye! 667 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,965 At last. This is so lovely! 668 00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,960 - Isn't it! - Yes, go on. 669 00:45:38,960 --> 00:45:40,925 Do we need some men? 670 00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,765 Might be nice. 671 00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:45,960 - THEY LAUGH - ALL: Yamas! 672 00:45:51,960 --> 00:45:53,925 - Hello, Aunty, Uncle. - What? 673 00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:55,965 My daughter Maud's governess had to leave suddenly 674 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:57,925 and I was wondering if you could take over. 675 00:45:57,960 --> 00:46:01,925 - Let's all go and visit Larry. - Ah! 676 00:46:01,960 --> 00:46:02,925 Captain Creech! 677 00:46:02,960 --> 00:46:04,925 - Pull up a bottom. - We're leaving. 678 00:46:04,960 --> 00:46:07,285 I don't think you have met my wife. 679 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:09,480 How nice to finally meet you.